So I had the absolute misfortune of having to drive 16 hours yesterday. It will only be unfair not to share with you what I have learned from this time in a confined space with my family. You are welcome.
1. I need more than 9 hrs warning to warm me up to this bullshit. 😒
2. I am not human at 3:30am, but by all means try me. It will end well. 😡
3. Your husband can't find anywhere to pull off the road for you to pee, but he will drift a car into a hidden driveway like a rally pro when you start dry heaving. 😒
4. Your child can stare at their iPad all day at home, but 20 minutes after getting into the car they are bored. 🙄
5. There is no amount of food you can take with that will be enough for the python / child you have in the back.😫
6. You lose your mother of the year status very early on in the trip by saying "If you ask me once more where we are, you lose your iPad for the week", only for 20 minutes later to say "If you stop making that sound with your mouth, you can get 20 minutes extra screen time every day this week". (I lost track after 3 hrs, for all I know she can watch TV for the next 30 years straight and never do chores again, if she stopped kicking my chair) 💁♀️
7. Kids pee a lot. 😮
8. No matter how superior your lumbar support is in your car seat, and God bless the Passat I was privileged enough to drive that gave me 8 adjustments, after sitting in that seat for 12 hrs, driving with a knife lodged in your spine would be equally comfortable. 😱
9. Did I mention kids pee a lot? 😲
10. Kids talk a lot. Like nonstop. Like for 16hrs, even when they are watching a movie, they give you the run down while they are watching it. 🙉
11. Double check to see when they deliver your groceries, or you will come home to it at your front door, in the sun for 3.5 hours and Strawberry trying to feed himself. ☹️
12. When you get home and tuck kiddo into bed and she kisses you goodnight and say, "Best road trip ever, I loved hanging out with you today, and you only said the f word once", you realise that thank goodness most of the frustration was internal and she isn't scarred for life.
Happy freaking Monday my friends 💙.
I was tagged by the gorgeous @andstephens for something 😂😂. It's restday, mental health day and couldn't give a crap day. Meh. But I am fighting the depression by baking my kiddo some muffins 💓💓 because otherwise I will stay in bed all day. Also its like 3000 % humidity and this is what I wore when the poor courier came around 💁♀️. 1- Last person I texted : Jennifer
2- Battery percentage : 67%
3- Do I have a crush? Well I wouldn't say that I have a crush on Jason Statham, we are practically married, it's love! ♥️
4- Nickname: I have lots, depending on how long you know me, Kaddie, Bunny, Squirrel. I never use first names, unless I am pissed off.
5- Night in or night out: Always a night in. 🐢
6- Last song you listened: Mine by Bazzi
7- Middle Name: I don't have one 💁♀️
8- Favorite place: The ⛰ trails
9- Height: 5'7
10- One fact about me: I am a super lightweight drinker, a glass and a half and its either nap time or jail time.
Happy #humpday my friends 💙 💙 💙 #depression can kiss my ass today!